| Monday December 22nd 2014

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“I Am Under 18″ Button Clicked For First Time In History Of Internet


CHINO, CA—In an unprecedented and historic event Monday, the “I Am Under 18″ button, an Internet security device which if selected restricts access to websites featuring adult content, was clicked for the first time ever. The Onion logo“I knew I could simply claim to be over 18 and continue onto my desired destination, but I also realized that I would have to live with that lie for the rest of my life,” said local resident Garrett Kinley, 17. “I admit, I was curious to see what type of material I would find on www.juggworld.com, but that button was clearly placed there for a reason, and let’s face it: 17 and three-quarters is not 18. I plan to return to the site three months from now, when I will be mature enough to handle its content.” Moments later, Kinley’s friend Dave Gerrard, 17, pushed Kinley aside and clicked the “I Am Over 18″ button himself, at which point a tactical police unit broke down his bedroom door and arrested him.

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