A summary of the most bizarre and outlandish statements uttered by Charlie Sheen over the past few days.

1. “I got tiger blood, man. My brain…fires in a way that is – I don’t know, maybe not from this particular terrestrial realm.”

2. “I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

3. “I’m tired of pretending like I’m not special. I’m tired of pretending like I’m not bitchin’, a total freakin’ rock star from Mars.”

4. “I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there. Now what? If I’m bi-polar, aren’t there moments where a guy like crashes in the corner like, ‘Oh my God, it’s all my mom’s fault!’ Shut up! Shut up! Stop! Move forward.”

5. I’m sorry, man, but I’ve got magic. I’ve got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time — and this includes naps — I’m an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground.”

6. “Women are not to be hit, they’re to be hugged and caressed.”

7. “It’s a polygamy story…All my guy friends are gonna like throw tomatoes at me. It’s like an organic union of the hearts.”

8. “That’s how I roll. And if it’s too gnarly for people, then buh-bye.”

9. “I probably took more drugs than anyone could survive. I was banging seven-gram rocks, because that’s how I roll. I have one speed, I have one gear: Go.”

10. “Blame the studio for giving me this much dough knowing who they were giving it to.”

Related Posts: On this day...

• RIM preparing to bring BBM to iOS and Android, change everything again? - 2011
• The Happiness Project (the updated paperback edition) - 2011
• Human Key Holder - 2010
• Audiobook DRM vs. Patrons of the Cleveland Library - 2010
• Creepy Tree - 2009
• Terminator: Salvation Trailer - 2009
• Upper-Lower-Income Taxpayers Look for Ways to Sidestep Obama Tax-Hike Plan - 2009
• CIA Realizes It's Been Using Black Highlighters All These Years - 2009
• Windows NT UNICODE Vulnerability Analysis - 2008